I want to paint the world with my words and can feel the colors in my mind returning, surfacing, flowing from the internal to the external so that I can again define, again identify my place among all other things, the many details this existence consists of. When I sleep to dream as opposed to awake feeling as though there are dreams all around, I cease to yearn to describe the context of it all. A piece of me, significant in size, has been asleep for a time, suppressed to that outer part of me where existence is real but acknowledgment is necessary for actualization. Perhaps this is where people put their youth like tendencies, to save for a rainy day or when such fantasy and ecstasy is acceptable by the world around them again; what a tragic fate.
Life flows in cycles, consistent and seemingly unbearable in nature at times, and yet there is Divine wisdom is juxtaposing the tragic and the beautiful. Such as the ways of love, there will be one who breaks your heart but this pain we want to label as senseless will evolve into reward when the one who puts it back together descends upon us. We are created to feel and this is our human lens through which we are able to see the Beloved. So let us bathe in gratitude that we have had the love we now mourn in our lives at all, for essentially it is this love, our tormentor and savior, which makes life worth living.
TRIALS A GIFT FROM GOD
Thou hast written concerning the tests that have come upon thee. To the sincere ones, tests are as a gift from God, the Exalted, for a heroic person hasteneth, with the utmost joy and gladness, to the tests of a violent battlefield, but the coward is afraid and trembles and utters moaning and lamentation. Likewise, an expert student prepareth and memorizeth his lessons and exercises with the utmost effort, and in the day of examination he appeareth with infinite joy before the master. Likewise, the pure gold shineth radiantly in the fire of test. Consequently, it is made clear that for holy souls, trials are as the gift of God, the Exalted; but for weak souls they are an unexpected calamity. This test is just as thou hast written: it removeth the rust of egotism from the mirror of the heart until the Sun of Truth may shine therein. For, no veil is greater than egotism and no matter 372 how thin that covering may be, yet it will finally veil man entirely and prevent him from receiving a portion from the eternal bounty.
(Abdu’l-Baha, Baha’i World Faith – Abdu’l-Baha Section, p. 371)
April 24, 2008 at 8:41 pm |
All my sound is nullified by the expulsion of your words. Yea, your words are on a digital format on the internet and really don’t make a physical sounds yet, I am speechless. I can say I feel the same way. To expand on the external from what is felt in the internal in hopes of inspiring others to do the same. Well you’ve won me over. I am inspired. I am renewed. Like an April rain shower, I am cleansed and renewed. I let this rain settled deep into the soil of my soul and will be more in bloom tomorrow. Thank you! Seriously, thank you.
April 28, 2008 at 4:33 am |
I am touched that my thoughts resonated so deeply with you. Thanks to you for reading!
April 9, 2009 at 2:49 pm |
Pure, raw emotion. I’m truly in awe of your words, so eloquently written. Your passion spills out and is exposed. I applaude your work and look forward to reading more from you. For you say only what our hearts think. The mind is a tortured and tormented place at times and you have written then emotions that I cannot say, yet I feel them.
April 9, 2009 at 8:01 pm |
I am so happy the passage spoke to you strongly. That is why I write…in the hopes that others will find meaning in the words and shared commonalities amongst us all.